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Entries
Saturday, March 03, 2007
i m super tired!!!!!!!!! haiz.. tink too many tings to do..my migraine came back for quite a while le... n it's killing me la... though i always try to tolerate..bt still... den e running here n thr due to my grandma..veri sian..i dun realli feel lik gg to e hosp everyday.. is nt tat i dun wan to c my grandma.. bt is e ppl hu will b thr made me dun feel lik gg.. haiz.. y my family will bcum liddat.. it wasnt lik tis... wad happen.. y sudd all so fake.. even i feel so fake myself.. everytime go thr muz act ignorance.. act lik it is still normal...bt wth.. listening to all e crap... it's hard to juz act lik nth happen... will it realli happen tat if anyting realli happen to my grandma(choy..touch wood) tat my whole father side will juz b separated.. lik we will juz live n care abt ourself? haiz...actually tat wun realli bother me la.. since frm small they always felt tat i m e youngest therefore i will nv understand.. bt dunno y i seem to b e most mature n e ones wif brains compare to e oldest.. even for e oldest auntie...lemme say one part y i find her brainless.. bt i will make my story short.. my grandma was admitted due to a fall n crack in hip bone.. bt den many tings happen.. so she was in e high dependency ward.. gt one day my grandma sudd keep wanting to get dwn e flr (when she cant even realli lift her legs la...) so i told my oldest auntie tat mayb we shud lower e bed abit so that she cant get up easily.. she said ok bt guess wad she did.. she press e button n made e ting go lik tis..ta ta ta ta ta ta.. meaninn she pressin it one at a time to lower abit..n not by holdin onto e button.. wah realli no brain when i c her do tat.. e bed keep jerkin la.. realli stupid sia..liddat even easily can trigger e pain in my grandma la.. dunno whether she gt brain not.. sian..tml stil muz continue to act..dunno whether my mum gg nt.. sian..oh..i muz put tis..cos my dar dar say i nv put anyting much abt him.. so bo bian.. anyway.. thx dar to b thr when i nid u =)
barked at
1:15 AM
Thursday, March 01, 2007
finally exams over..dun tink can do well.. kinda distracted during e final paper..cant realli study.. haiz.. nvm,.. means now focus on danceworks.. though my grp still gt slot of tings to do.. hope can do everyting in time sia.. haiz..today my mood was totally spoiled.. lik..i realli dunno hw i shud b feeling now.. kinda internal struggle... for e moment i gonna juz heck.. bt farhan..i seriously wish it is not wad we hab concluded.. if tat is realli e case.. i tink i mite go crazy.. though it seems nt such a big deal..bt it is affecting me quite badly..to trust or not.. i dunno... cos currently i already leaving in a family of fakers(gt such word?)..everyday me myself hab to act.. being so fake myself.. when den can i b a real me.. is so tiring to b so fake.. sumtimes i dun even noe hu i m anymore.. i dun even noe m i havin e rite feelings.. i m juz lika jega that was played for veri long..n may collapsed any moment.. i simply aint as strong as my looks... hw i wish i can slp 4eva.. at least i feel peaceful tat way..sudd being too emo.. mayb i shud get to bed...zzzzz
barked at
12:59 AM
